Tonya Parker Motivational Speaker/ Author
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Bask in the Mess

9/15/2009

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Cleaning your house while your children are young, is like shoveling snow while it is snowing! Ok...some of you mothers out there will not be able to understand where I'm coming from on this one. Just know I have been on both sides and I know what I'm talking about.
One day several months ago, a friend of mine came over to visit with me and to see my house. As we headed up the stairs I warned her this was my children's area and she might need to ..."enter at her own risk!" Sure enough, as we entered my son's room things were quite askew!! She started smiling and laughing saying..."I love it!!" I thought to myself..yep my friend has slipped off the deep end!! I apologized for the way it looked and she quickly informed me of what this mess meant to her. She began to explain to me that this "mess" meant that there was life here. This mess meant my son was home and living a full life. He had friends, functions, and fun going on in his life and he was living under my roof where I could enjoy it all with him. My wise friend informed me that before I knew it, he would be off to college and this room would be clean, straight, and orderly because the life that was now existing here would be in another location. The greatest advice she gave me was to go up into his room daily and..."Bask in the Mess!" Because before long, the mess would be gone and so would my son.
I mistakenly told my son about this conversation a few days later. From then on if I asked him to straighten up his room..he would say "Ok Mom...but don't you think you should just go bask in it for awhile!"
Today my son is off to college and having a great time with this new chapter in his life.
Both of my children are on their own and finding their way. They are functioning adults who are spreading their wings and flying solo as I have taught and prayed for them to do.
For me, I am also adjusting to a new chapter in life. The "empty nest" chapter that comes with it's own set of pros and cons. My son's room...well it's clean...it's orderly..it's straight....and it's always yearning for the life to enter it again and fill it with fun!

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    Author

    I have spent the past 25 years pampering women working in various aspects of the beauty industry. Building and managing spas has allowed me the opportunity to share my love for people as I try to inspire others to begin to appreciate their own individual value. Speaking and teaching to various women’s groups has also been a major part of my life as I try to impart laughter, hope, and motivation to those attending. My passion is to empower women to live life to the fullest and be all that God has ordained them to be. I am married to the love of my life. We have 4 beautiful children, one darling daughter in-law and a precious new granddaughter.  I have incredible parents that have made me what I am today and I am blessed because of them. I am so proud of the Godly heritage that I have. I deeply cherish the lifelong friendships that I have made through the years. My favorite thing in life is relationships and the richness that they bring to my life.
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